Dear Younger Version of Me,
Here we are, age 33, looking back at your younger version, and enjoying knowing more than we did back then. You were a mess, really. I didn’t love you, like I do now. I didn’t know how, and I didn’t know how powerful that one trait, Self-Love, could be in influencing a thriving and more enjoyable journey from there to here. If I could step back in time, and be your older sister, I would take your hand and say “Sis, you’re doin’ great. Let’s get coffee, and I’ll show you how to relax, accept yourself, and allow your creative genius to flourish in your life and business and bring out your inner power, authentic heart and radiant beauty. What day works for you?”
From the Start…
That first week, we’d get together and I’d discuss self-honor and rejuvenation. I see you’re stressed out about what they think about you. I see you believing you’re not as smart as the boys, and have yourself so bound up around getting their approval you’ve lost yourself, your power, your voice. My beautiful little sister, here’s a tip: their love won’t ever give you the satisfaction, the peace, the affirmation you’re looking for.
There will be a time you will start your businesses, you will create a whole department and team in a company, you will again barista in your favorite coffee shop in which your stubborn drive to get their approval will end in disappointment and what in the moment will feel like betrayal, deception, rejection, and even abandonment. You’ll feel taken advantage of and dismissed, unheard. I won’t tell you to not start that business, or take that position. I won’t tell you you’re doing it wrong, because you’re doing great.
What I will give you are these three tips to make it easier to honor yourself as a woman in a slowly deteriorating man’s world:
How To Relax & Self-Honor To Sustain
1. Trust. Your heart, your mind, your being, trust all of you.
You may not have all the information, the same schooling as them, but what you do have is you. So take care of your best asset, you. You are unique, powerful, and brilliant in your own right. Take 15 minutes every morning, play quiet, wordless music, close your eyes, and breathe.
Feel your energy flow from your head, center in your core, and flow out your fingertips and toes. Trust. Allow yourself to not know all the answers. This is a process, and it is possible to trust it’s going to be ok. Enjoy this space. Failure is a concept made up by someone who was judging themselves harshly for not being someone else’s version of success. You’ve got this. Trust yourself.
2. Fill back up.
You’re giving of your energy, your problem solving capabilities to your business, to other people all the time. Now do that for you! Once upon a time, you didn’t know what filled you up. At 33 you finally allow yourself to take those bubble baths, read that fun book, go for that hike, get that massage, have that girls night, dance like it’s 1999, speak your positive truths to yourself! Post the truth of yourself around your house! You will believe it sooner than later and this will be huge for your business and your relationships! What you believe and celebrate about yourself will permission other people to do the same for themselves AND you.
3. Get a mentor or coach.
You don’t have to do this alone. You can have support that keeps you accountable to being the powerful woman you are. Listen to her. She will listen to you and ask you hard questions like ‘ Babe, what’s holding you back? What can you do today to move forward towards your goals?’ Having a mentor who can help you remember your greatness will go far. So, sister, it’s ok to ask for help from someone who’s been there.
And Momentum Builds…
The second week we got together, I’d help you see you are loved because you exist. Accepting this fact early on will help you love yourself and be proud of your brilliant business. How do you know you’re loved? Girl, your experience of the past has told you you’re second best, you’re too complicated to listen to, you’re not as pretty as her. Listen though, this is only your experience. It’s a fading memory, and you can let it fade more.
You know that little tug in your heart when you feel unjust actions against yourself? That hidden anger when someone interrupts you or tells you you’re too skinny or too fat? That’s the Universe trying to awaken your heart and tell you they are wrong. All of who you are is wonderful on purpose. You are worthy to be heard, you are beautiful, you are enough. Knowing this earlier than later will help you succeed at anything you put your heart and mind to. You’ve got this. Now get out there.
Here’s 3 practical tips on how to love yourself:
How to Love & Accept Yourself To Sustain
1. Celebrate your wins!
All of them. This reinforces to your heart and mind that you’re brilliant! Keep it up!!
2. Own your voice completely.
You won’t always say the right thing. That’s for sure. Here’s also what’s sure, you have a beautiful heart and giving yourself a chance to shine and speak your truth is the best thing you can do to become your best version. Owning your voice, loving yourself, will permission other people to do the same. So, get out there, girl, speak your mind.
Bonus tip: Listen wholeheartedly and respect other people too. This doesn’t mean you have to give your voice away or agree. Listening helps you learn how to be better, how to do better, and also will show people how to honor and respect you the same way.
3. Forgive yourself.
Girl, perfection is another made-up, fleeting concept that’s a crock. Forgive yourself for saying that thing that that hurt that person. Let yourself cry. You’ve told yourself to be brave, and stop crying. Well bravery is great, AND your tears matter too. Give your heart refreshment. Forgive yourself for not doing the dishes. Forgive yourself for forgetting deodorant. Girl, you’ve got that spark, that dazzle, because you’re a woman. And you’re a millennial. Period. Own it. Get those sparks flying for you, in you. If you win, we all win.
Alright, alright, alright!! Now, sis, we’re going to take a few weeks, and several cups o’ joe, on letting that Creative Genius shine like nobody else! I know, you’re just starting out, you really want to be taken seriously, but let me just say… at 33, the other generations are still wondering what the hell is going on our brains. So, just be you. Flow with that creativity. You know it’s possible to create a new way to do things easier and more productively, you know your genius is capable to help win-win-wins happen like crazy. Melt in, love.
Here’s a few things you can do to flow with it:
How To Multiply Your Creative Genius To Sustain
1. Give it away.
Sister, you’ve held onto all your ideas, all your gifts, long enough!! Give them some air, set them free, and help other people. Why? Because, there’s more than enough where that came from. There’s more ideas, more creativity, more and more available. So share the love! When you collaborate and share ideas, new ideas are born that you may not have been able to create alone.
2. Quality over Quantity.
I was told at 31, by a lifetime creative entrepreneur, to focus on no more than 3 creative projects going at one time. He’d learned that his creative genius needed the changes to continue to feed the inspiration, but more than 3 he found took energy away from himself and consequently he didn’t have the consistent, positive results he wanted. Meaning, he spread himself too thin with more than three. However, the benefits of having more than one project/business going helps your inspiration flow in and out easily creating more funds, more fun, and more opportunity to build a stronger network of friends/colleagues.
Another benefit of having a few things going is that you can create multiple forms of passive income meaning: business sustainability, peace of mind, extra funds to vacation and/or contribute back! I mean, who wouldn’t want that!!
3. Let go.
Ok, this is a biggie. I can hear you say it now “what do you mean ‘let go?’ I’ve worked so hard for this business, it’s my triumph, it’s mine, I built it from the ground up!” Ok, here’s the thing. Building a bad-ass business does take a ton of energy and time and work AND you want to keep the creative energy flowing!
Trying to hang on to something you’ve created forever tends to start draining your energy and decreasing the profitability. Consider what it would be like if you let someone else handle your successful company you’ve built? What else could you build? Wouldn’t it be fun to do something different? Only smarter this time? Ok, so letting go could mean making any change personal or business in order to let yourself thrive again. It could look any way you can imagine to help yourself like letting someone else manage it, it could mean selling it, it could mean accepting it’s profit margin is not what you want and allow yourself to close the doors. Allow honesty with yourself. Save yourself the pain of holding on too long, and let go. What creative solution makes sense to you? Go with that. There is no “fail.” You get to decide. I’m just saying it could be easier, sooner, and it can look any way you choose.
Grand Finale…Let The Fun Continue
So, my young self, as much as I would go back and tell you all these things to help you enjoy yourself more and sooner, I know whatever you choose, you turn out pretty damn awesome in the end regardless.
To Our Abundant Success,
Danielle Josephsen, Homeowner, Owner & Coach at Hygge Montana, Entrepreneur, Coach.